Not sure why the media’s so interested in this…

Alex: Hi Nic, how’s things? You ready for this shitstorm pal? We always knew it was just a matter of time ’til they tried this pish.

Nic: I know Alex but I’m still gutted, makes me sick to my stomach the depths they’ll go to divide our nation and weaken the cause. I don’t know why I’m surprised though, remember that time they infiltrated the party?

Alex: Aye and when they tried to run me off the road just before the referendum but look how far we’ve come since then, we’re closer than ever and they’ve shot themselves in the foot this time with all their double dealings and lies. It’s all about to explode in their faces when I take them to court and show what a dirty, rotten, filthy pile of shite they are. Don’t you worry, I’ll resign for now to keep the party strong and when I’ve humiliated the fuckers in court I’ll re-join just in time to jump over the last hurdle. Don’t let the bastards get you down, promise?

Nic: Aye all right then, it’s not like I’m not used to their crap. I just hate to see a scholar and a gentleman treated so appallingly but you’re right it’s just another part of showing their true colours to the world. I hope we don’t need to wait too long for your name to be cleared.

Alex: Don’t worry Nic, honestly even the diehard unionists who usually detest me have been sending me messages telling me they know it’s all bull-shit . We’ve got a job to do that’s way bigger than me, so promise no matter what happens you will never allow them to fuck things up for the cause.

Nic: I promise pal, I’ve got this. You look after yourself and I’ll keep improving things until it’s time to make the Declaration. I need to wait a wee bit to see if we need to win another general election before declaring or if I’ll be calling another referendum when Brex-shit is triggered.

Alex: Either way we’re gonna win this time Nicola, the dream won’t only never die, it’s gonna come to life and the people of Scotland will party like they’ve never partied before. I really can’t wait to see the celebrations but first I need to deal with this drivel. Listen I better go just now, I’ve got a show to record where I’ll be exposing more of their lies. I’ll catch you soon, keep your chin up and your eyes on the prize. I’ll be fine.

Nic: You too Alex. See you soon. Big hugs from me.

#funfiction #soundaboutrighttome


There’s a moose loose in Holyrood hoose,
because the foodbank hud nae cheese!
And the delays in universal credit 
had brought it tae its knees.
“I’m a gallus wee moose,
and a don’t mean to gloat.
but at least I’m no a ferry company,
Without a blinkin’ boat!”

Mibbee it’s a Waspi moose,
with a sting within his tail.
Terrorised and traumatised
by another government fail.
“I scurried up from Blackpool,
to share ma tail of woe,
about how that fracking fiasco
is no’ the way to go.”
Austerity is over, so they say at least,
but the foodbanks still got nae cheese
and the moose that’s loose in Holyrood hoose
is still on his blinkin’ knees!!


I’m no duchess dripping in pearls,
not counting my silver like the earls.
I knew it was never about the amount
an act of support is what did count.
No ermine coat will await this lady,
No matter where fate will lead me.
No turn-coat treachery will entice me,
to sell out my own to those who vex me.
No titles, lands or gifts from the crown
but don’t worry it won’t bring me down.
My riches are life’s little treasures,
taking heart from simple pleasures.
A smile, a hug, a rainbow a dance,
a fated encounter brought by chance.
When justice prevails, and the truth shines bright,
When I wake in the morning to see the sun light.
A thank you letter from our former First Minister,
another blow to the walls of Westminster
A fiver #ForFairness is worth every penny,
as the legacy lives on to protect the many.

The Telegram







The Dragon

Fully mature she stood before me,

terrifying in her magnificence.

Struggling and straining, getting nowhere;

her desire to be free nearly extinguished.

Little puffs of smoke billowed from her,

reminding me of the glory she once held.

Scarlet and black, a warning to the faint of heart.

Her monstrous girth, petrifying yet tantalising,

inviting me to look deeper, to search for something.

It was then I noticed the shackles.

She was chained, how was it possible?

Tethered to the ground, no longer able to fly,

it was in that moment I looked into her eyes.

I searched beyond the fire and rage,

into the beasts very soul.

There staring back at me

stood my own reflection

cultivated throughout the years.

Inside were all my anxieties,

wrapped up amongst my fears.

The hurt and pain laid bare

glistening like unshed tears.

I reached over to her carefully,

a gentle hand was needed here.

“Oh my darling dragon, don’t fret,

I am here.  I am here.  I am here.”

I stroked that beautiful dragon

and with tenderness I spoke

“You will fly again my darling,

I will liberate you once more.”

Her pleading eyes beseeched me

as she looked towards the door.

It was like I heard her whimper

but I don’t want to fight any more.

“Don’t you worry dragon,

I’ve healed your broken heart

once again, it’s full of love

so when the storm clouds gather

You can soar above.

May’s Way

And now, the end is near
and my demise is surely certain 
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lied, so many times
as I ran through, fields of barley
And more, much more than this, I did it May’s way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
but then again, I’d have to care first.
I did what I had to do, robbed the poor without exemption
With cuts I fecked you all, the disabled I hit worst
And more, much more than this, I did it May’s way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
And through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it May’s way

I’ve smirked, and laughed and cried
You had your fill, of my abusing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way,
“Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it May’s way”

For what is a Tory, what have I got?
With no party, will I be caught? 
Forgetting those who feel, for those who kneel
The record shows I took the blows and did it May’s way!


As the Piper Played

As the piper played,

the blood dripped from wounded men

staining more than the land they fell on.

Tears of the living and the dead;

etched on the heart of the future,

grief a century would not erase.

The tears still fall,

as the piper plays.


As the piper played,

the strength ripped from broken hearts

straining more than the chests they came from

screams from the living and the dead

carved on the body of life

a warning to never forget.

The tears still fall,

as the piper plays.


As the piper played,

the breath slipped from shattered lives

chaining more than the band they fell from,

to remember the living and the dead

and carry them with them

in their hearts and minds forever.

The tears still fall,

as the piper plays.


As the piper played,

the life slipped from tortured souls;

chaining more than the sand they fell upon;

bound to the living and the dead

imprisoned by their sorrow

never forgetting the fallen.

The tears still fall,

as the piper plays.

federation of writers Scotland

The Federation of Writers (Scotland) is an organisation dedicated to making the written and spoken word available to the public of Scotland, with respect for diversity and recognition of additional support needs. Caidreachas nan Sgrìobhaiche (Alba) ’S e prìomh-amas Caidreachas nan Sgrìobhaiche (Alba) litreachas sgrìobhte is labhairte a chur mu choinneamh poball na h-Alba, a’ toirt spèis do dh’iomadachd agus feumannan-taice a bharrachd.


Poetry that purrs. It's reowr because the cat said so.


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the Paisley Independent

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Telling it as it is since 2013 - Living in Edinburgh, Scotlandas a single Dad to 2 little Girls, trying to live with Agoraphobia, Osteoporosis, Psychosis, M.E (Chronic Fatigue), PTSD and Fibromyalgia - "Life is Hard, don't make it worse" - Enjoy the Journey with me, follow me, and I will follow back. Thanks :-) Shauny




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