Inside

Inside, I scream

Imprisoned, I feel

Impatient, I am

Being, ignored.

Unheard, I wait.

Knowing, I am

Not invisible. 

                                                     

I stand waiting

To be heard.

 Observed, I am

  Judged unjustly.

Denied, basic health care.

 I plead my case

Over and over. 

Expected to wait and wait

 For answers that don’t arrive

 On time to ease my mind

Only broken promises.

Neglect triggers frustration

 Agitation builds as I wait.

I remain locked up.

Trapped, kept away.

Insecurity with issues

Related to giving up.

 My phone, my respect,

My life, my family.

  In your hands.

I danced.

               

 Alone, nobody listening

Yet talking, discussing me,

 Without me, annoyance builds,

And, the anger turns to disgust.

Unjust treatment to distrust,

 Sickened not sick, I retreat.

  Quick, protect yourself.

From this prison cell

These four walls

This confined space

So much time unlived.

 I try to forgive.

With a sigh

I cry.

Locked out of life,

In its fullest glory

Shorter pages

In my story.

Relief it’s nearly time

 Time to breathe              

And then BOOM!

Comes another aftershock,

From the mouth of the doc

News I can’t digest

Creating unrest.

Inside my mind.   

Where I find

  I’m free to be me.

In this enforced isolation.

Sanctioned separation.

 Disconnection from my world

 From my boys and girls.

Yet every time, I rise again

  Anew, refreshed, and then

  There are the side effects.

Mind blurs,  legs wobble,

Stomach aches, unsafe now

I retreat from the threat

To my sanity from the insanity

The noise, and tune out to tune in.

To myself, where wisdom, I find

 Where worlds hide, waiting to remind    

To lead me back through the darkness   

Of veiled threats, of being manipulated,

  Coerced, bullied, threatened    

With physical force expecting me

  To “wholly comply”

   I deny, and revoke your

right to reply.

Rashelle Reid

The End

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. ” Albert Einstein

Dear Doctor,

Do you think perhaps you piqued too soon,

To notice the sun and the moon,

Like Freud, did you get hysterical

About a woman’s cycles?

Or like Jung, did you fear the dark?

Unknowing how to handle, how to protect

Yourself from the demons of the night,

Did you get a fright when the mirror looked back at you?

Calling you to see, to listen, to face the truth?

Or did you run and hide from the light,

Scared its power would reveal your shadow,

Your ego calling you to think you know it all?

That there wasn’t more you could learn?

That those with other qualifications,

Might understand sedation

Better than you. With experience

And the wisdom of the ages

As their teacher. You judged them as a preacher.

And failed to see the power, in the hour

Where they had been called to stand,

To not “wholly comply” with the lies.

To reveal what they knew, what they had been taught,

The gifts they had been given as they prayed to heaven,

For a better world, for more healing, for more feeling,

For light to shine in the darkness

And truth and justice to prevail

in the end.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2008/mar/02/mythoftheantipsychotic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piquerism

https://psychdata.blogspot.com/2005/09/generation-ritalin-australia.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bad_Pharma

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