My Voice Will Go With You

I wrote this poem in my “Voyage” notebook after learning I had cancer but before I knew what stage the cancer was and what my prognosis was going to be, just in case the news wasn’t good. Fortunately, if you’ve been reading any of my ponderings, you already know, I survived but not everyone is so lucky. I have signed the poem from mum, as when I wrote it, it was for my children however I shared it recently with a friend who has experienced loss and it brought her a lot of comfort, so please feel free to use it as you see fit to help people who are dealing with the loss of loved ones. Love and blessings, Rashelle

This love that has connected us.

Means we can never be apart,

I will always walk with you,

Carried in your heart.

My voice will go with you

And when you need something dear to hold,

It will bring you comfort,

When the world feels sad and cold.

I hope you hear my laughter

In times it’s hard to smile,

And know that I’ll watch over you

When the road is filled with weary miles.

He called me home,

I’m sorry I had to go,

And for now, we must say goodbye.

Wipe your tears my child.

I’ve never wanted you to cry.

Don’t you remember?

All the laughs, we used to share.

All the silly songs I sang,

To show just how much I cared.

Inside you, it lives on.

I planted the seed long ago,

So, you would always know.

Let me in and let me carry you

Although he’s called me home,

I’ll never stop loving you.

Mum xoxox

Excuse the language but…

I’ve been going through my “Voyage” notebook that I scribbled in when I had cancer, along with lots of other things I stumbled across this poem, I wrote it as a way to release some of the frustration and stress I was experiencing and to consign to words some of the heavier aspects of my life. My spoonful of sugar that helps me deal with these frustrations is putting on music while I’m tidying up etc.

I fucking hate housework

Cleaning a house that never looks clean

Putting away all the things that are seen

Clutter and chaos, aggravates my homeostasis

Makes my blood boil and leaves me frustrated.

I don’t mind the doing, at least not the once.

It’s the over and over that drives me insane.

I clean and declutter; wash all the clothes.

Only to find more mess under my nose.

Sort and order, put it away,

To do it all over the very next day

If only a simple cycle would suffice

I’m going in circles, making things nice.

Nobody notices the things that I do

But if I stop for a day, they all turn blue.

Order from chaos feeds my soul.

Yet housework never leaves me feeling whole.  

She rose from the dust

You’d never have dared

If I hadn’t been on my knees

If I wasn’t already broken

You wouldn’t have the guts

To look me in the eye

As you played with your fly

You wouldn’t dare approach

a woman like me normally

but when my carcass

was weak, you swooped

in like a vulture, dragging

me to the depths of hell.

Where you reside

and then in shame

I hid too.

Using your perceived

position of power,

to prey, to pounce, to violate

my shattered mind

With your lurid intentions

Framed as banter, patter,

Words, just words

but words, that ripped

more flesh from my bones

traumatising my soul

While I was experiencing

grief for the loss

of the woman I was

for this stranger

I didn’t know yet

She was my best friend

The only one who knew

everything, all the shadows

All the light, all the joy,

All the pain, all the love,

All the stories written

along the alphabetic

rollercoaster of my life.

I was still enduring,

battling through,

Learning my strength,

Rebuilding myself

Writing a new chapter

In the book of my life

Getting to know who this

New me was going to be

To adjust my mind

My heart, my soul,

My body burned

with unseen flames

My head exploding

with unheard screams

My heart still cradling.

shattered dreams

You were given a butterfly

To hold, to be gentle with

And your role demanded

You take care of it,

And instead, you crushed

A butterfly’s wings

So fragile, so delicate,

so light and in it’s place

rose a dragon,

forged in fire

yet unconsumed

by its power

She rose from the dust,

Flying, stronger, wiser

than ever before

So if you think

for one minute more

I will carry your shame

You are wrong

I am crying my last tear

As I write this

Testament of truth

to the woman I am

and the scars I carry

A woman strong enough

to endure, to grow, to learn

who loves so deeply

that loss and pain

brings her to her knees

and with every fall, she rises

Over and over again

To love some more

and cry too

but never again

over you.

.#WritingforFreedom#emotionalhealthmatters#writeyourownstory#LetitGo#Thisisme#iambrave#MeToo#Shame#Notminetocarry

25Robert Knox, Wee Tracee and 23 others40 commentsLikeCommentShare

Rays of Hope

What to say when silence has been my solace?

Where to go when I’ve been all over the place?

Will the tears ever stop rolling down my face?

When will I learn to walk with grace?

Now I’ve found Rays of Hope

With their support I know I’ll cope

Cancer conquered, a future altered,

Walking forward, she faltered.

Falling to her knees…

Give me strength, she begged.

Give me what I need to cope.

And God delivered

RAYS of HOPE

 

RAYS of HOPE is a Cancer Support Group established in 2015 to help anyone who has had cancer. We provide a safe, confidential environment where you can openly talk about your cancer to others who have had a similar experience. We support you through difficulties following a diagnosis, whether they are emotional, practical or physical, and hope to help you turn a negative experience into a more positive one and help you regain control of your life.

https://www.facebook.com/RaysofHopeCancerSupport/

#RaysOfHope  #itsOKnottobeOK #CancerSurvivor #MentalHealth #WorldMentalHealthDay2019  #WMHD19

 

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