Keep the Faith

He handed her a rose, smiling.

“Keep the faith, Aphrodite.”

Her torch alight, she beams.

She looks out to the water,

remembering why she is here.

“It’s your destiny lass.”

Deep down, she knew.

She could feel it in her bones.

“We’re marching to a new beat now.”

She recognised the truth in him,

In her, in the messenger who led her here.

In all of it. In awe, she rose.

She picked up the book,

Presented to her with a gracious hand.

Still unbelieving, still unworthy

but ready to rise with the sun

and bring light to a world

Consumed by darkness.

She surveys the land,

When the time is right.

All will be revealed.

He places his hand on her shoulder,

“You’ve got this, lass…

Keep the faith”

I promise,

I will.

She rose from the dust

You’d never have dared

If I hadn’t been on my knees

If I wasn’t already broken

You wouldn’t have the guts

To look me in the eye

As you played with your fly

You wouldn’t dare approach

a woman like me normally

but when my carcass

was weak, you swooped

in like a vulture, dragging

me to the depths of hell.

Where you reside

and then in shame

I hid too.

Using your perceived

position of power,

to prey, to pounce, to violate

my shattered mind

With your lurid intentions

Framed as banter, patter,

Words, just words

but words, that ripped

more flesh from my bones

traumatising my soul

While I was experiencing

grief for the loss

of the woman I was

for this stranger

I didn’t know yet

She was my best friend

The only one who knew

everything, all the shadows

All the light, all the joy,

All the pain, all the love,

All the stories written

along the alphabetic

rollercoaster of my life.

I was still enduring,

battling through,

Learning my strength,

Rebuilding myself

Writing a new chapter

In the book of my life

Getting to know who this

New me was going to be

To adjust my mind

My heart, my soul,

My body burned

with unseen flames

My head exploding

with unheard screams

My heart still cradling.

shattered dreams

You were given a butterfly

To hold, to be gentle with

And your role demanded

You take care of it,

And instead, you crushed

A butterfly’s wings

So fragile, so delicate,

so light and in it’s place

rose a dragon,

forged in fire

yet unconsumed

by its power

She rose from the dust,

Flying, stronger, wiser

than ever before

So if you think

for one minute more

I will carry your shame

You are wrong

I am crying my last tear

As I write this

Testament of truth

to the woman I am

and the scars I carry

A woman strong enough

to endure, to grow, to learn

who loves so deeply

that loss and pain

brings her to her knees

and with every fall, she rises

Over and over again

To love some more

and cry too

but never again

over you.

.#WritingforFreedom#emotionalhealthmatters#writeyourownstory#LetitGo#Thisisme#iambrave#MeToo#Shame#Notminetocarry

25Robert Knox, Wee Tracee and 23 others40 commentsLikeCommentShare

The Constantine Cathedral

In the Constantine cathedral

Drowning in a flood of tears

Scars still weeping,

Demons still creeping

And yet….there is light

More light than ever before

The way was clear

Choose faith, not fear

The pain was excruciating,

Writhing in agony on the floor

Lifting her head from the ground,

She reached for the heavens

It’s your way now, she whispers

I’ve nothing left to give.

Please she begs…

Can you forgive?

An unworthy sinner,

A proud woman…

a broken girl.

Save me, she pleads

Set free the dreams inside of me

Release me from my bondage

The light expanded

And the atmosphere changed

Electrified and vibrating

With a higher power now

It was done.

The past gone,

The future scribed

In the Constantine Cathedral.

The Devil came to Town

The devil came to town today,

Riding in a black limousine

Appeared right in front of me

Like a scene from out a dream

He appeared at the Piazza

Know the one at Paisley Cross

I tooted to say hello

but I was at a loss

Was this really happening

or had I lost my mind?

I knew I’d just claimed

my inheritance divine.

Was he there to deliver

or try to buy my soul?

I was expecting to receive an offer

of some fool’s gold.

The lights turned red

And the devil did obey

As I sat there behind him

wondering what I’d say

He turned to the left,

up Causeyside Street

I wondered was it really me,

he had come to meet.

Pondering all the places

where did I think he’d go?

Just at the wishing well

I would finally know

Right outside The Welly

He pulled up the car

Would he make me an offer

To become a star?

Just like in the movies,

or written in a book.

If you don’t know the stories,

You’ll find them if you look.

I’d looked for him before

When desolation struck

But even with the devil

I was outta luck!

Walking up to meet him

Smiling like the sun

Did other people laugh,

or was I the only one?

I laughed so much

I couldn’t help greeting

Nobody would believe me

If I told them of us meeting

So out in the light

a kind stranger I did ask

“Would you my friend,

perform this small task?”

He took a wee picture

of me with a beamer

Is this the real life,

or am I a dreamer?

Her Story

Her name was there,

written in the book.

She knew what they’d think

when they chose to look.

She laughed out loud,

knowing what they’d say.

She knew what they’d think

so she blew all her cares away.

She laughed even harder

with every page she turned

She sighed with relief

as she felt the fire return.

Seeing her story right there,

unveiled before her eyes

She smiled in anticipation

as she fully realised,

Even the burdens are blessings,

ordained before conception

In her mind, a reflection

of the sacredness,

of the words written

revealing her story

in all its glory,

from beyond time

in the book of life.

The Harp Plays

When the band got back together,

We wept, tears of sorrow.

As we said farewell to those

who had lightened our eyes,

lifted our hearts and

unburdened our souls.

We said thank you for the music,

Thank you for the songs,

We’ll see you again before too long.

We shared their messages of hope

With the world and ourselves

When in darkness,

we struggled to cope.

Now they sing from heaven

Serenading every day

Listen you might hear them

as the harp plays.

Encoded messages,

backwards and forwards

throughout time

For us to find

when the time’s divine.

By David’s side we sing,

Raising our voice in praise,

Singing songs to the world,

Bringing peace to the days,

and joy to the land,

as one by one, we return

to walk home, hand in hand.

Holy Hexagrams!

Providence has cast favour
Keep going, never waiver.
Sail with me, take my hand.
It’s time to play in wonderland.

We talked and talked for hours,

When Thoth turned up for tea.

I couldn’t believe he’d come,

That he had chosen me.

“As above, so below.”

Oh my dear, I have to go. 

Call me any time, night or day.

I am only a thought away.

Worlds within worlds, never forget,

Live your life without regrets.

Ra’s returning, the sun will shine.

Don’t worry lass, there’s still time.

Don’t leave your destiny unfulfilled,

You have the power, you have the will,

Follow your heart, start again.

New beginnings are at the end.

“Holy Hexagrams!” ~ he exclaimed.

As he embraced me once again

Providence has cast favour

Keep going, never waiver.

Sail with me, take my hand.

It’s time to play in wonderland.

The Tryst

img_2582

She’d been there before
in a time now past,
unknowing, curious
and caring, bleak
with concern.
The future daunting,
taunting twisted tales
Shrouding mystery
in the soul of her eyes.
Help me, she pleaded.
Let there be light
in these dark days
My hands are here for you
to use, as my soles
tread this sacred land.
And, my mind learns
from the clues
our ancestors left waiting
To reveal to her
when the time was
divine for the tryst
with destiny.
Courageously she
stumbled up mountains
and down again.
Faltering she wavered
waiting until the time
had come, as ordained
To stake her claim
For all the people
Of the world
She knew now
things were different
A phoenix rising
Tears shed for the people,
To cleanse the pain,
to wash away the lies
and the longing.
Space created for love
and hope of the better
days to come, peace
replaced the weariness
and once again she rose,
A warrior born to shine.
To remove the shadows
Where fear once lived.

If the cap fits…

I’ve waited a long time to share this story with anyone except a few of my closest friends but it seems the time has finally arrived.

Back in 2012, I wrote myself a Goals for Life list and one of my wishes was to give Dr. Wayne W. Dyer a hug to thank him for the gifts he had brought to this world.

I had long been familiar with Hay House and the contribution they were making to the world and had already began the journey within a few years earlier after meeting David Hamilton PhD and The Caring Clown aka Margaret McCathie who worked alongside Patch Adams in 2008 while I was studying NLP.

David is an amazing man with a sparkle in his eyes and a wealth of wisdom inside him.  A bio-chemist who had worked within the pharmaceutical industry and realised the powerful nature of the placebo, he decided to change path and began exploring “How the Mind Can Heal the Body” and “It’s the Thought that Counts”.  His scientific approach was a breath of fresh air to me as the world had made me a bit cynical at this time.  Margaret demonstrated the power laughter has to help us connect and heal our hurts, and showed me something of myself that I hadn’t seen before about what I give to others naturally.

I shared David’s books with friends, family and their friends and family shared them too.  All of them benefited from them in one way or another and I loved seeing more and more people connect with his work as he produced more books but couldn’t believe his work was being ignored by the mainstream as it contained such a powerful message.

I was in a period of discovery and learning but I was also very busy raising two sets of twins with not a lot of money and I still hadn’t had time to grieve for my stillborn daughter as I had fell pregnant again very quickly afterwards and wanted to make sure that while they were growing they only experienced love, joy and gratitude.  I called my stillborn daughter Abbie as I wanted her to have a connection to Paisley and the Abbey sits right at it’s heart. I didn’t know then how relevant the Abbey would later become to my own story, but that tale is for another day as I’ve rambled a fair bit already so let’s move things along.

When 2012 arrived I had totally changed my perspective on life and for me science was the bridge to spirituality that I needed, opening me up to worlds beyond my imagination.  I was struggling to cope with the things I seen in the world around me and like so many others around the world looked to the sky with my hands in the air saying “Let there be Light” but also asking God to use my hands to help the world.

By the time Hay House brought their “I Can Do It” event to Glasgow, the silent voice inside me was already strong and had been present in my life a long time. It had already led me to places where wonderful things happened many times before.  Even before the announcement of the event I knew deep down I would meet Wayne one day and I had not a penny to my name to spare, so knew I wouldn’t be going to America any time soon.

I began hearing the words “If the cap fits wear it” over and over and had no idea why but knew I would find out, as that was how it always happened.  Then the announcement came and I knew the message was connected with Wayne but how could I believe it?  How egotistical does it sound to say one of the Masters of our time was passing his cap to me, some wee woman from Paisley who was struggling to just hold herself together, and yet, I knew it was true, even then, but first I had to convince myself I was worthy.

I was familiar with the work of many of the Hay House authors but Dr. Wayne was the one who resonated with me most as the power of the “I am” had already shown up in my life through my studies in Psychology and Child Development, I think I had even wrote I poem before about it before I realised this was in Wayne’s teachings too.  The prayer of St. Francis had been the words I had been using in my own life and I knew their power to help me through difficult times and to support me while doing things that terrified me to help others.

On the first day of the event I walked across the bridge to be greeted with a double rainbow, making me smile and know I was exactly where I was meant to be.  I enjoyed learning from all the authors but if I’m completely honest, it was the hug that I wanted to give Wayne which was the main reason I was there.

Every time I saw him he was surrounded with people asking for autographs and pictures which isn’t really my style so I just hung back and waited to see if the moment would come another way.

On the last day of the event at 4pm my friend Adele Logan of CalmPoint Acupuncture looked at each other and said “oh well, maybe next time” as we accepted it was too late and Wayne was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere he appeared behind us and put his arm around us both, I didn’t even have to ask! I was blown away but I still remembered to thank him for all he had done.  I walked home floating on air at the magic that had happened and spoke to my friends about what I thought was happening.

My eldest daughter had been ill that day with flu like symptoms that had led to fever.  As the rest of the house settled she was struggling so me and her went downstairs and I tried to help her cool down.  She started muttering the words “the doors have opened mummy” right away I thought of the doors of perception and was surprised to hear this from a child but then she seemed scared as a vision of a man appeared to her.  I became a little scared too as I witnessed her fear but I know the power of a mother’s love and in me it runs strong.  I put my arms around her and asked that all energies present be only love and she settled in my arms.  Her temperature began to break, I knew most people would consider this nothing more than a hallucination brought on by fever but I had a feeling it was more than that.  Next day we discussed what had happened again and my daughter described more fully what she had seen and I recognised it as St. Francis and knowing Wayne’s strong connection with St. Francis it confirmed what I had been feeling.  She had never heard of St. Francis before this so I looked up a picture after hearing her description to show her and she agreed it was who she had seen.

But still I had much more work to do before I felt I could share this story with the wider world.  Much has changed since then, that I’m sure I’ll be sharing here or wrapped up in other stories that has shown people who I am and now, well now new worlds seem to be opening up to me and I finally fully accept that yes, yes I am worthy of donning the cap and I know as well as the compassion and love I have always shared with those around me I have gained a much deeper understanding of the pain people can experience through my own fall and subsequent struggle back to the mountain top.

I promise, as I move forward that I will do my best to honour the blessings bestowed on me and share them compassionately with the world.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, once again, I thank you.

The Hidden Hand

Dear Hidden Hand, I’ve got a message for you.

We’ve figured it out, how you do what you do.

Hiding in shadows, with your legions of minions

Manipulating minds and engineering opinions.

Acting all tough, with your ££’s in the bank

Weapons of destruction, drones and death tanks

Without a care you destroy OUR world

So despicable you are, you kill boys and girls

Haven’t you noticed, the curtains been moved

And we’re all ready to create a new groove

We see your cowardice, you big yellow belly

We see the programmes you control on our telly

Destroying nations is what you do best

But with new awareness, the future’s been blessed

No more will we fight in your wars

No more inflicting un-treatable sores

No more support in unknowing forms

As we’ve battled the waves and we’ve come through the storm

Stronger and wiser, we’re warriors of peace

And I’m happy to tell you, we’ve terinated your lease

Digging up the dirt and removing your seeds

Of hate, separation, lack, competition and greed

In their space we’ll plant and we’ll sow

Love, compassion and peace, a new Earth we’ll grow

Free from domination, we will rise again

No longer fighting, we;ll become friends

Working together, sharing ideas,

Clearing the old ’til the way becomes clear

Healing the Earth from the ways of the past

Respecting each other in the 21st century at last.